QUESTION: Today's comes from BF...
"I've had a rocky relationship with my mother most of my life, and in fact we've hardly spoken in the last year. But recently, the mother of a close friend of mine died, and it's started me thinking if I ought to try to change this. But how do I go about it? Or is it even possible?".
There are some truisms that are quite apt: You only get one mother; you can't choose your relatives; blood is thicker than water. It is understandable that you want a good relationship with your mother - she probably wants this too. However, for reconciliation to occur both parties need to meet halfway. So start with a small gesture such as a card on Mothers Day or her birthday, and give her an opportunity to respond in kind. Also it would be instructive to think back on what has gone wrong in the past. There is no point in dredging up past indiscretions, but nevertheless lessons can be learned from them. What does she have to complain about with you? Is there anything that you could change to smooth the process? Do you have any siblings? What sort of relationship do they have with her? Could you get them to invite you to an event at which your mother will attend? The presence of others could temper any overt ill-feeling and provide a foundation for the future. Try to be honest with her without being judgemental. Reconciling a deep chasm with anyone is a challenge, so good luck.
BILLY GRAHAM'S ANSWER: